Do I have to live two lives? Kink, identity, and the art of choosing what we share
Living two lives doesn’t mean living a lie. An exploration of kink, identity, and the freedom to choose what we share, integrate, protect, and bring into the daylight.
Love isn’t a sin: why polyamory doesn’t need the Vatican’s permission
When the Vatican warns the world about the rise of polyamory, it is speaking from a worldview that treats love like a commodity. Something to ration. Those of us who practice polyamory or ethical non-monogamy know a different truth entirely: love has never worked that way.
When “it would have been nice if…” becomes a pattern
When sex is planned but never happens, what do you do with the silence? A reflection on unmet desire, communication, and learning to ask again - without shame, and without apology.
From people-pleasing to power-playing
People-pleasing shows up everywhere - at work, in relationships, even in our bedrooms. We smile, accommodate, and perform for approval. But kink can expose those habits and invite us into something truer. Learn how to change your whole life - not just your sex life - by co-creating from desire, not fear.
Connections with purpose: why experience is irrelevant
A look at why experience is irrelevant, showing how curiosity, honesty, energy, attraction, and shared purpose create meaningful connections. Different people meet different needs, and every relationship becomes purposeful when its why is clear.
The goal is not expansion
Kink isn’t a ladder to climb. You don’t have to keep collecting new sensations or scenes to be “real.” The deepest play often lives in what’s familiar.
How overthinking made me a better dom
Tyr Nordson, shares his experiences of being a dom and how overthinking might even be a gift in partnership and care.
The power in letting go
Respectful Kink co-founder Tracy Playle reflects on her journey into power dynamics, exploring the freedom she’s found in submission and the surprising leadership lessons that now shape her work in business and coaching.
Lights, camera, consent: respectful conversations about filming your play
The idea of capturing kinky play on camera can be hot. But filming isn’t just about pressing record. It’s about trust, consent, and co-creating a container where everyone feels safe.
The art of kinky feedback: how (and when) to speak up without killing the mood
Giving feedback can feel awkward - in sex, in kink, and in life. But learning how to speak up with care and curiosity is one of the most powerful skills we can practice. Here’s how to do it without killing the mood (or the connection).
Addition, not comparison
Comparison is one of the quietest ways we disconnect - from our partner(s), our play, and ourselves. When we stop measuring people against others, we start seeing them for who they truly are: whole, unique, and full of possibilities.
Unknowingly crossing boundaries
Boundaries are the edges that make pleasure possible. But even when you set them clearly, it’s easy to find yourself - bit by bit - drifting past them without realizing it.
From performing to embodying: the journey to authentic respectful kink
Respectful kink isn’t a script to perform for sex, power, or approval. When practiced authentically, it’s about co-creating joy, not manipulation. This post explores the journey from performative gestures to embodied presence, where kink becomes a playful, filthy, and trust-filled collaboration rooted in genuine connection.
Kink shaming vs. not understanding
Not every kink is going to be your cup of tea. You don’t have to love or want every kink that exists. What matters is how you respond to the ones that aren’t for you.
10 red flags on dating sites (and what to do instead if you want respectful kink)
Interactions on dating sites can be full of red flags. And sometimes we commit them without even realising. In this post we share 10 common red flags on dating sites and what to do instead if you notice you do them.
5 questions that can strengthen any relationship
A few days ago we shared five questions to help you get started talking to your partner about kink. Now we also explore how those same five questions can strengthen any connection in your life.
Enjoy the ride: Finding joy in present kinks
Kink is a journey, not a destination. Gratitude for today’s play builds trust, confidence, and connection - preparing you for tomorrow’s adventures, one beautiful, present moment at a time.
How to talk to your partner about kink: 5 questions to get you started
Want to explore kink with your partner but not sure how to start the conversation? These five thoughtful questions make it easier to open up, build trust, and spark curiosity together.
What leaders can learn from aftercare
In kink, aftercare is non-negotiable. After a scene we don’t just pack up the toys and walk away. We check in. We debrief. We hold each other. What if we took the same approach as leaders delivering a tough blow of difficult feedback?
Is planning unsexy in kink and BDSM?
Planning doesn’t have to make kink less sexy. It can make it more sexy. And it can create the structure and container for that perfect blend of consent and spontaneity to co-exist.